Scientific Threat
No, I’m not talking about the fact that we’re now performing genetic engineering and altering genes like we’re sort of sickos. No, it’s not the fact that there’s this what you call designer babies and we ourselves can design the babies that we desire: Smart, beautiful, free of all genetically acquired diseases. I’m not talking about Biology at all, or its annex, Biotechnology. What I’m spraffing about here are my sister, classmates, and other acquaintances who get so associated with science and its other branches that whenever uttering a word, they get so S-C-I-E-N-T-I-F-I-C. There, scientific. Of course, I don’t plan showing up here, posting something as bland as this, without backing my statements up (I’m weird and all that). Here are some cases which would make you laugh and would make you fear the people whom I’m always interacting with (that’ll make you fear me, too! Hahahahaha!). They’re psychotic. And I mean it!
1. Just last Sunday, my whole family was going to church. My sister and I stepped out of the house first, a bit too excited to see our favorite cousin afterwards. I almost banged my head against a nearby wall. It was hot as summer! My sister, as equally ticked off as I was, yelled at me. “Darn it! It’s so hot! Global warming!” She halted for effect. “And we, poor creatures of earth, neither know about it nor are doing anything to act upon this situation! Ugh!”
My thoughts: Sure, there’s global warming, but for Pete’s sake, is that really it? I mean, we’re in the Philippines; our temperature is temperate! It’s almost always hot here! Like summer!
2. A couple of weeks ago, my friend and classmate, Danielle was yawning and stretching her legs and arms while our teacher lectured in front. It was biology class, and we were bored to death. In fact, we were on the verge of falling asleep. Ennui kills, you know? Anyway, I asked her where she’d be using biology when she grows up. I myself couldn’t think of something to answer to that question, so I inquired my classmate. She smirked and said, “If one of my used-to-be classmates ask me how I’m doing, I’d say, ‘Oh, fine. My DNA is still replicating, fortunately.’”
My thoughts: I don’t like Biology that much, but Danielle’s answer to my question surprised and amused me. Never thought of that before. And what’s with our DNA replicating? Anyway, that’s true. But wouldn’t Danielle’s former classmates regard her as peculiar if she answers such to a very simple question??
3. Yeah, yeah, we had our intramurals almost a month ago. We went up to the Computer Science Building to have a good view of the performance downstairs. We were gaping at the presentations, practically, our jaws were hanging open. Then a classmate, Kevin, suddenly got my attention and pointed to a room behind us. “What?” I asked disinterestedly. He was pointing at teacher sleeping in front of his open computer.
“Look at Sir.”
“So?”
“He’s asleep.”
“Am I supposed to care?”
“No. But see, he’s sleeping with the computer open. Doesn’t he know what a lot of gamma rays are going to go to his head? It’s dangerous! Before he manages to wake up, his brain would be toast!” Kevin insisted.
I shook my head in boredom. “Fine.”
My thoughts: So what, Kevin, if he wants gamma rays entering his head?? It’s not our problem anymore. Should we have awoken him? No, I don’t think so, because if we did, he would have yelled at us for disturbing his sleep. Or maybe he’d suddenly point at us yelling we erased his work, all the while not knowing that he clicked erase and the dumb file went to the recycle bin. But when I think about it, what would have happened if we woke him up? He probably wouldn’t even budge.
4. English class. I wasn’t supposed to believe that I’d survive English class without anyone blaring me with science. Yesterday, our teacher asked the class if they had broken families or something of that sort (with telling us first, of course, that she didn’t want to offend anyone). I think two of my classmates raised their hands. My teacher told them that she was just trying to test something, maybe relate it to our topic that day.
Michael, who was seated behind me, suddenly tapped my shoulder. “Uh-huh?” I asked, turning to him.
“They’d be put inside a lab!” he immediately whispered.
“Uh… huh?” I mumbled. “What do you mean?? Who are they??”
“I mean, our classmates! They’d be the test subjects, and those vectors would be inserted into them! Hahaha! Bacteriophage!”
“Okay…” I uttered, quite disbelieving. Michael, I knew, was weird. But not this weird. I simply smiled back at him and joined his twisted laughter.
So, maybe I’m weird, too.
My thoughts: Why would our English teacher even bother to put our classmates in a lab and study them? She was just merely asking about their family’s status! And what’s with the bacteriophage and those vectors? Threaten to modify their genes and make them look like a huge platypus which eats planktons if they don’t answer? Scary.
5. My cousin was playing Resident Evil when we arrived at their house. He hurriedly ran up to me and my sister, faking perspiration. “You won’t believe it!” he almost screamed.
“I believe everything,” I answered helpfully. (Well, not.)
“I just bought myself a new play station 2!” he said excitedly.
My mood changed. “Okay, so why don’t you show it to me? Later, let’s play.”
We entered his house and went inside his room. The place was practically unorganized but for the fact that the pillows were piled neatly. “What’s your game?” I asked.
“Resident Evil! It’s different this time. The makers term it ‘the modern zombies’. If your character walks up to them, they’d talk and scream at you first, then raise their ax and try to kill you. They don’t bite anymore. Much improvement for cannibals like them, I must say,” he explicated as he got the controller.
I observed how the game proceeded. Cool, although the stupid zombies don’t die easily. It’s hard to aim your gun at them, and there were times when my cousin’s character actually bled to death because he continued firing although the zombie was before him.
“Stop trying to kill your character,” I said when the screen flashed “Death”.
Suddenly my cousin turned to me. “Oh my God. I’m like… so nervous while playing!” He clutched his chest. “I’m so tense… I think my heart would stop pumping blood!!” Then he played dead.
I stood up and snatched the controller from him. “Gotcha. I play now.”
My thoughts: I know what heart attack is. I’ve studied that; my school, particularly elementary, taught us that. What I can’t understand is, what the heck with the pumping of blood? People tend to exaggerate at times, I know, and they always say something like “My, I think I’m gonna have a heart attack!”
My cousin begged to differ. Sheesh. “My heart would stop pumping blood!”
Shut it!
6. Just this Wednesday, we had no classes because of the mock test the second year students would be undergoing. The day after that, Thursday, we would have our own set of test, but not one from my class wanted to review. (Yeah, we’re slackers. So what?) Anyway, it was Wednesday night when I received a message from a close friend of mine, Carlyn, asking me if I had reviewed for the English and Filipino tests.
How About That: I didn’t review. I was freakin’ bored. Besides, no one reviews for those subjects!
Carlyn: Yeah, I agree. Did you do those artifacts for Filipino already?
How About That: I didn’t. I was so… sleepy, actually, that I practically spent the whole day lying down my bed. Or maybe not. I’m just exaggerating. I think artifacts 5 and 6 are easier than 7. 7 is another dumb album about our friggin’ self. Geez. My mom doesn’t want to give me pictures anymore. She says they don’t go back to her. I have no more pictures to put in my album. Do you realize how… how much predicament that is??
Carlyn: Me, too. When I look at the albums now, some have spaces between pictures, indicating I was the one who got that missing picture. I’m guilty.
How About That: I understand that.
Carlyn: What did you do today, anyway?
How About That: Sleep and surf the Net. I didn’t realize the time. I was there the whole three hours!
Carlyn: That’s too much radiation!! Personally, I was merely texting the whole day!
How About That: Oh, so now speaks the person who didn’t receive an itsy-bitsy amount of radiation today? Don’t you remember that cellphones, too, has this what we call radiation??
Carlyn: Oh, yeah, I forgot. Hahaha!
How About That: Geez.
My thoughts: It was during Physics time when our teacher shared with us a short experiment which he and a friend (or another teacher, whatever) did. They tried using cellphones with no antennae and after fifteen minutes of talking to a person, whoa, did the antennae bend! They were convinced that it was because of the radiation emitted by the cellphone. Our teacher told us to beware of this high-tech gadget, since although useful, it’s quite dangerous. In fact, it contributes to the possibility of a person having cancer or, well, by simply using the mobile, have his brain toasted without strain.
Scary.
7. To practice for our play, my classmates and I had to walk down the streets behind our school to go to a park nearby. I was with two of my classmates. We’ve just finished eating at a nearby… uhm… fastfood outlet.
Anyway, we were quietly talking amongst ourselves when suddenly I asked Alice why she didn’t want to come with Sari and her companions. Alice replied, “Because Annie was with them.”
“Is that it?” I asked.
Marie, who was also with us, asked why.
“I dunno. I just don’t like her,” Alice replied, with a little twitch of her brows.
Marie had to chuckle. “How come everyone hates Annie? Well, not hate, but they have this certain odium towards her. Many people dislike her.”
I shrugged. “Actually, when I realized we’re classmates this year, I asked myself what it was in her which I didn’t like. I couldn’t really think of that ‘something’; it must be her attitude.”
“Yeah, I sort of don’t like how she behaves. Thinks she’s the queen of the world or something like that.”
“However, I also know this ‘something’ although I can’t identify it,” Marie said.
I thought about the situation. “It must be… because our attitudes are the same. I mean, remember the Law of Attraction and Repulsion? Opposites attract; like charges repel.”
“Hahaha! That must be it!”
My thoughts: Personally, I have no grudge against Annie, although sometimes she pisses the hell out of me with her twitching brows, high-pitched voice, and often ugly temper. But I don’t hate her.
When I think about it, I honestly wonder why we disliked her so much. I was scared that the Law of Attraction and Repulsion might hold true for human beings as well. I mean, if you have the opposite demeanor, you get along, but if it’s the same, you’d kill each other.
It must be something like this, simply put, “If you hate a person, you hate something in him/her which is a part of yourself. What isn’t a part of ourselves doen’t disturb us.”
Don’t you think so?
~
Right now, I’m still telling my brain to remember everything SCIENTIFIC that my classmates, friends or sisters have said during the past weeks or months. Don’t worry, as soon as I recall some of them, I’ll add to this post.
~
Anyway, let me just point out that it’s quite riotous when we realize that those science thingies that we learn in school are being applied to our daily life. Hence, this humorous post about everything scientific.
I’m not at all taking for granted the fact that these science terminologies have taught to us so much. I would merely like to accentuate that even though we often think that our difficult subjects only give us headache everyday, there’s always a time when we get to use them.
Don’t you agree?
~
I was once asked, during our Trigonometry class, where I would be using everything I’ve learned from the subject. You’ve got to admit, you don’t have to compute for the six trigonometric functions before you get to pay your fare! Haha!
I was astounded, jaws hanging open, trying to think of an answer.
I was thunderstruck, to say the least.
I decided to get practical. I replied:
“No, it’s got no practical uses at all. What’s important is that when we grow up, we know things not everybody else does.”
Ain’t that accurate?
~How About That!
1. Just last Sunday, my whole family was going to church. My sister and I stepped out of the house first, a bit too excited to see our favorite cousin afterwards. I almost banged my head against a nearby wall. It was hot as summer! My sister, as equally ticked off as I was, yelled at me. “Darn it! It’s so hot! Global warming!” She halted for effect. “And we, poor creatures of earth, neither know about it nor are doing anything to act upon this situation! Ugh!”
My thoughts: Sure, there’s global warming, but for Pete’s sake, is that really it? I mean, we’re in the Philippines; our temperature is temperate! It’s almost always hot here! Like summer!
2. A couple of weeks ago, my friend and classmate, Danielle was yawning and stretching her legs and arms while our teacher lectured in front. It was biology class, and we were bored to death. In fact, we were on the verge of falling asleep. Ennui kills, you know? Anyway, I asked her where she’d be using biology when she grows up. I myself couldn’t think of something to answer to that question, so I inquired my classmate. She smirked and said, “If one of my used-to-be classmates ask me how I’m doing, I’d say, ‘Oh, fine. My DNA is still replicating, fortunately.’”
My thoughts: I don’t like Biology that much, but Danielle’s answer to my question surprised and amused me. Never thought of that before. And what’s with our DNA replicating? Anyway, that’s true. But wouldn’t Danielle’s former classmates regard her as peculiar if she answers such to a very simple question??
3. Yeah, yeah, we had our intramurals almost a month ago. We went up to the Computer Science Building to have a good view of the performance downstairs. We were gaping at the presentations, practically, our jaws were hanging open. Then a classmate, Kevin, suddenly got my attention and pointed to a room behind us. “What?” I asked disinterestedly. He was pointing at teacher sleeping in front of his open computer.
“Look at Sir.”
“So?”
“He’s asleep.”
“Am I supposed to care?”
“No. But see, he’s sleeping with the computer open. Doesn’t he know what a lot of gamma rays are going to go to his head? It’s dangerous! Before he manages to wake up, his brain would be toast!” Kevin insisted.
I shook my head in boredom. “Fine.”
My thoughts: So what, Kevin, if he wants gamma rays entering his head?? It’s not our problem anymore. Should we have awoken him? No, I don’t think so, because if we did, he would have yelled at us for disturbing his sleep. Or maybe he’d suddenly point at us yelling we erased his work, all the while not knowing that he clicked erase and the dumb file went to the recycle bin. But when I think about it, what would have happened if we woke him up? He probably wouldn’t even budge.
4. English class. I wasn’t supposed to believe that I’d survive English class without anyone blaring me with science. Yesterday, our teacher asked the class if they had broken families or something of that sort (with telling us first, of course, that she didn’t want to offend anyone). I think two of my classmates raised their hands. My teacher told them that she was just trying to test something, maybe relate it to our topic that day.
Michael, who was seated behind me, suddenly tapped my shoulder. “Uh-huh?” I asked, turning to him.
“They’d be put inside a lab!” he immediately whispered.
“Uh… huh?” I mumbled. “What do you mean?? Who are they??”
“I mean, our classmates! They’d be the test subjects, and those vectors would be inserted into them! Hahaha! Bacteriophage!”
“Okay…” I uttered, quite disbelieving. Michael, I knew, was weird. But not this weird. I simply smiled back at him and joined his twisted laughter.
So, maybe I’m weird, too.
My thoughts: Why would our English teacher even bother to put our classmates in a lab and study them? She was just merely asking about their family’s status! And what’s with the bacteriophage and those vectors? Threaten to modify their genes and make them look like a huge platypus which eats planktons if they don’t answer? Scary.
5. My cousin was playing Resident Evil when we arrived at their house. He hurriedly ran up to me and my sister, faking perspiration. “You won’t believe it!” he almost screamed.
“I believe everything,” I answered helpfully. (Well, not.)
“I just bought myself a new play station 2!” he said excitedly.
My mood changed. “Okay, so why don’t you show it to me? Later, let’s play.”
We entered his house and went inside his room. The place was practically unorganized but for the fact that the pillows were piled neatly. “What’s your game?” I asked.
“Resident Evil! It’s different this time. The makers term it ‘the modern zombies’. If your character walks up to them, they’d talk and scream at you first, then raise their ax and try to kill you. They don’t bite anymore. Much improvement for cannibals like them, I must say,” he explicated as he got the controller.
I observed how the game proceeded. Cool, although the stupid zombies don’t die easily. It’s hard to aim your gun at them, and there were times when my cousin’s character actually bled to death because he continued firing although the zombie was before him.
“Stop trying to kill your character,” I said when the screen flashed “Death”.
Suddenly my cousin turned to me. “Oh my God. I’m like… so nervous while playing!” He clutched his chest. “I’m so tense… I think my heart would stop pumping blood!!” Then he played dead.
I stood up and snatched the controller from him. “Gotcha. I play now.”
My thoughts: I know what heart attack is. I’ve studied that; my school, particularly elementary, taught us that. What I can’t understand is, what the heck with the pumping of blood? People tend to exaggerate at times, I know, and they always say something like “My, I think I’m gonna have a heart attack!”
My cousin begged to differ. Sheesh. “My heart would stop pumping blood!”
Shut it!
6. Just this Wednesday, we had no classes because of the mock test the second year students would be undergoing. The day after that, Thursday, we would have our own set of test, but not one from my class wanted to review. (Yeah, we’re slackers. So what?) Anyway, it was Wednesday night when I received a message from a close friend of mine, Carlyn, asking me if I had reviewed for the English and Filipino tests.
How About That: I didn’t review. I was freakin’ bored. Besides, no one reviews for those subjects!
Carlyn: Yeah, I agree. Did you do those artifacts for Filipino already?
How About That: I didn’t. I was so… sleepy, actually, that I practically spent the whole day lying down my bed. Or maybe not. I’m just exaggerating. I think artifacts 5 and 6 are easier than 7. 7 is another dumb album about our friggin’ self. Geez. My mom doesn’t want to give me pictures anymore. She says they don’t go back to her. I have no more pictures to put in my album. Do you realize how… how much predicament that is??
Carlyn: Me, too. When I look at the albums now, some have spaces between pictures, indicating I was the one who got that missing picture. I’m guilty.
How About That: I understand that.
Carlyn: What did you do today, anyway?
How About That: Sleep and surf the Net. I didn’t realize the time. I was there the whole three hours!
Carlyn: That’s too much radiation!! Personally, I was merely texting the whole day!
How About That: Oh, so now speaks the person who didn’t receive an itsy-bitsy amount of radiation today? Don’t you remember that cellphones, too, has this what we call radiation??
Carlyn: Oh, yeah, I forgot. Hahaha!
How About That: Geez.
My thoughts: It was during Physics time when our teacher shared with us a short experiment which he and a friend (or another teacher, whatever) did. They tried using cellphones with no antennae and after fifteen minutes of talking to a person, whoa, did the antennae bend! They were convinced that it was because of the radiation emitted by the cellphone. Our teacher told us to beware of this high-tech gadget, since although useful, it’s quite dangerous. In fact, it contributes to the possibility of a person having cancer or, well, by simply using the mobile, have his brain toasted without strain.
Scary.
7. To practice for our play, my classmates and I had to walk down the streets behind our school to go to a park nearby. I was with two of my classmates. We’ve just finished eating at a nearby… uhm… fastfood outlet.
Anyway, we were quietly talking amongst ourselves when suddenly I asked Alice why she didn’t want to come with Sari and her companions. Alice replied, “Because Annie was with them.”
“Is that it?” I asked.
Marie, who was also with us, asked why.
“I dunno. I just don’t like her,” Alice replied, with a little twitch of her brows.
Marie had to chuckle. “How come everyone hates Annie? Well, not hate, but they have this certain odium towards her. Many people dislike her.”
I shrugged. “Actually, when I realized we’re classmates this year, I asked myself what it was in her which I didn’t like. I couldn’t really think of that ‘something’; it must be her attitude.”
“Yeah, I sort of don’t like how she behaves. Thinks she’s the queen of the world or something like that.”
“However, I also know this ‘something’ although I can’t identify it,” Marie said.
I thought about the situation. “It must be… because our attitudes are the same. I mean, remember the Law of Attraction and Repulsion? Opposites attract; like charges repel.”
“Hahaha! That must be it!”
My thoughts: Personally, I have no grudge against Annie, although sometimes she pisses the hell out of me with her twitching brows, high-pitched voice, and often ugly temper. But I don’t hate her.
When I think about it, I honestly wonder why we disliked her so much. I was scared that the Law of Attraction and Repulsion might hold true for human beings as well. I mean, if you have the opposite demeanor, you get along, but if it’s the same, you’d kill each other.
It must be something like this, simply put, “If you hate a person, you hate something in him/her which is a part of yourself. What isn’t a part of ourselves doen’t disturb us.”
Don’t you think so?
~
Right now, I’m still telling my brain to remember everything SCIENTIFIC that my classmates, friends or sisters have said during the past weeks or months. Don’t worry, as soon as I recall some of them, I’ll add to this post.
~
Anyway, let me just point out that it’s quite riotous when we realize that those science thingies that we learn in school are being applied to our daily life. Hence, this humorous post about everything scientific.
I’m not at all taking for granted the fact that these science terminologies have taught to us so much. I would merely like to accentuate that even though we often think that our difficult subjects only give us headache everyday, there’s always a time when we get to use them.
Don’t you agree?
~
I was once asked, during our Trigonometry class, where I would be using everything I’ve learned from the subject. You’ve got to admit, you don’t have to compute for the six trigonometric functions before you get to pay your fare! Haha!
I was astounded, jaws hanging open, trying to think of an answer.
I was thunderstruck, to say the least.
I decided to get practical. I replied:
“No, it’s got no practical uses at all. What’s important is that when we grow up, we know things not everybody else does.”
Ain’t that accurate?
~How About That!
posted by How About That! @ 10:52:00 PM
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