Shh! It's... a secret?
“Secret is a thought which a person keeps to himself/herself.”
This testimonial is by and large answered when inquired what secret means. If you ask me, however, I wouldn’t riposte with such a worn-out respond. I have an unusual denotation for the word – which is so disparate from the statement above. It’s this:
"Secret is something someone tells everybody not to tell anyone."
This definition is rather amusing, but hell, it says perfectly what every person appears to be rebuffing.
Last Monday (or was it Wednesday?), while my classmates and I were waiting for our teacher in Technical Writing class (I think that was the subject during that time), I overheard my friends talking about something soooo confidential. I was leaning against the wall when Colleen, a friend, suddenly went over to Janine, another classmate. They began talking in hushed voices, flashing their surrounding suspicious glances as they chitchatted. At first, I wasn’t at all bothered. In fact, I even disinterestedly tapped my fingers against the wall. I was jaded, to say the least. I only became curious when I inadvertently met Janine’s gaze. To my surprise, she moved closer to Colleen, completely whispering now while the conversation went on.
This testimonial is by and large answered when inquired what secret means. If you ask me, however, I wouldn’t riposte with such a worn-out respond. I have an unusual denotation for the word – which is so disparate from the statement above. It’s this:
"Secret is something someone tells everybody not to tell anyone."
This definition is rather amusing, but hell, it says perfectly what every person appears to be rebuffing.
Last Monday (or was it Wednesday?), while my classmates and I were waiting for our teacher in Technical Writing class (I think that was the subject during that time), I overheard my friends talking about something soooo confidential. I was leaning against the wall when Colleen, a friend, suddenly went over to Janine, another classmate. They began talking in hushed voices, flashing their surrounding suspicious glances as they chitchatted. At first, I wasn’t at all bothered. In fact, I even disinterestedly tapped my fingers against the wall. I was jaded, to say the least. I only became curious when I inadvertently met Janine’s gaze. To my surprise, she moved closer to Colleen, completely whispering now while the conversation went on.
Something smelt fishy.
The ever-meddling persona in me began to pry on whatever it was the two were speaking of. I asked the two what they were talking about, but to my great frustration, they dismissed my query and said that I didn’t know about it, and that I was supposed to feel guaranteed that they weren’t talking about me.
Oh, well, I thought. I can always ask other people.
Luckily for me, Jenny and Toni (they’re also my friends) were with me during dismissal. I asked them if they knew what Ann and Joyce were discussing. They didn’t want to enlighten me at first, and it took quite a lot of my energy persuading them to share with me their knowledge of the matter. They kept insisting it was a secret, but for Pete’s sake, it was palpable that everyone in class BUT I had information what that stupid secret was! (I’m one of those who are last to know, simply because I don’t gossip!) They reasoned that they vowed to keep quiet, not to share it with anyone but themselves, and that it was a SECRET. I argued that if it were really a secret, then they wouldn’t have known about it. And based on my scrutiny, I could see that they knew a lot about this secret. Whatever it was.
In the end, the two gave in and told me everything.
Apparently, Colleen and Janine were talking about Lizzy, a classmate. Lizzy was angry with Janine because she thought the latter spread her secret. Lizzy was ticked off, pissed as hell, when she learned that her secret was squealed by Joyce to almost everyone in class. Janine was talking to Colleen in a hushed voice because she was asking for Ann’s advice regarding the matter. With Lizzy peeved, it wouldn’t be so easy dealing with her.
“So,” I muttered, twitching my brows, “what is the secret?” I was getting impatient.
“So,” I muttered, twitching my brows, “what is the secret?” I was getting impatient.
There was a pause, then Jenny told me in a whisper, “Lizzy isn’t a virgin anymore.”
Oh.
I considered falling from my seat, letting my jaws fall open, or…
Laughing like a maniac.
I chose the third alternative.
I chortled oh-so-incessantly that Toni and Jenny had to hit me (not so hard, though) to halt my expression of amusement. They almost covered my lips since almost everyone around was gazing at me like I was some sort of sicko (which, I don’t deny). They didn’t have to do that, however, because I managed to calm myself down within seconds. I coughed and plastered a serious look on my face. “I see.” My curiosity was more piqued than ever. “Continue.”
It appeared that Lizzy told Janine that the former was deflowered (let me use this less crude term. Wait, does anybody else still use this word?!), and Janine told everybody about it. Lizzy was informed about this, and she became completely livid. According to Jenny, rumor had it the Lizzy described her deflower-ation (I can’t find another term) to everyone in her Research (one of our subjects) group (each has five to six members) in a detailed manner. She told them that she trusted them or something like that, and that they shouldn’t share the secret with anyone.
At that point, I had to laugh again. I countered that if it were a secret, Lizzy shouldn’t have told anyone – not even her closest friends – about it. And to think the members of her research groups were mere acquaintances of hers!
Anyway, Lizzy did it with a neighbor (they say). I asked how it happened. What I got was, Lizzy was invited to do it and lo and behold! she said yes. They (she and whoeverthatguywas) did it in her room and almost got caught by her younger sister. They managed to solve that hitch, and before Lizzy’s sister was able to enter her room (I think it wasn’t locked. Quite stupid of them, no?) the guy entered a closet, dressed up there, and when Lizzy’s sister took a look at the closet, she was greeted with some kind of ‘boo!’ (it’s so lame, if you ask me). It would have, of course, appeared as planned, and a trick which would let the two escaped being condemned. It worked
(unfortunately) and they got away clean.
I asked if they tried to do it again. They did, and this time, it was –cough- successful.
So that’s why Lizzy is so pissed. Imagine the whole class learning about such decadent hush-hush.
The next morning, I told Colleen I already knew about that sizzling-hot topic. I gained more information through her, still, because… I forgot. (I’m getting forgetful these days. Think I’m getting older already?! Please, freakin’ no!)
Colleen began with a repartee that Lizzy could be doing it again right then (she was absent that day) because according to Janine, Lizzy told her that she got addicted to it; like she couldn’t survive without having do it with that guy again. Last December 2006, Lizzy was supposed to do it yet again, but we had had a practice for the Carol Fest (it’s held yearly, and the competition is among sections of each year level) so she had no time.
“Why did they do it?” I asked.
“Just because.”
I inquired, “What if she gets pregnant?”
I inquired, “What if she gets pregnant?”
Colleen only came up with a nod, as she, too, was aware of such a scenario, but wasn’t really able to think of sufficient respond which could be enough to solve a 99.9%-possible dilemma
“And do you know this guy she’s doing it with?” Collen continued.
I shook my head no.
Colleen told me who he was.
Oh, for fuck’s sake, I said to myself after I heard Colleen’s statement.
I can very well understand if Lizzy became angry with Janine. It was her right, since she trusted the latter to keep her secrets to herself, but was let down. However, I can sympathize with Janine since she didn’t ask Lizzy to hand over that secret to her and let it bug her everytime she sees Lizzy. Besides, she denies having said a word about it; there were other four people who were with them when Lizzy discussed everything, right? There are endless possibilities. Furthermore, if Lizzy didn’t want anything (specially a secret) revealed to anyone, then she should have shut the hell up. It would have done her good.
People regard sex as something not even worth thinking about these days. I mean, there are people who do it almost everyday, right? There are husbands and wives who do it in their matrimonial bed.
Thing is, it’s different.
In the eyes of God and the church, people still not married are not supposed to engaged in something as not. Plus, society degrades you if they learn that you’re doing it with someone not your spouse. In the Philippines, people regard virginity as something as highly valued as their most prized national hero, Jose Rizal. As days pass by, however, Filipino women tend not to think about it the same way the old men did, but disregarded thoughts and lectures about sex, and proceeded to engage themselves in something as demeaning as this one.
People regard sex as something not even worth thinking about these days. I mean, there are people who do it almost everyday, right? There are husbands and wives who do it in their matrimonial bed.
Thing is, it’s different.
In the eyes of God and the church, people still not married are not supposed to engaged in something as not. Plus, society degrades you if they learn that you’re doing it with someone not your spouse. In the Philippines, people regard virginity as something as highly valued as their most prized national hero, Jose Rizal. As days pass by, however, Filipino women tend not to think about it the same way the old men did, but disregarded thoughts and lectures about sex, and proceeded to engage themselves in something as demeaning as this one.
As for sexual intercourse which she was engaged in, it was her choice. She deals with her problems the way she wants. I must honestly say, though, that I’m laughing at her for doing such a stupid thing at a very young age. What is she doing, wrecking herself for the sake of pleasure? Very unintelligent pick. It’s so repulsive. I know virginity (or whatever they call it) isn’t valued so much the way it used to be, but if a girl/lass/woman is at least sensible enough to think about capitulation’s dire consequences, then she’d rather not involve herself in a confusing mess.
Of course the main point of this post is not for me to preach (I know you all hate smartasses, so I don't wish to be one through this blog) to point out the fact that people contradict themselves so much that they don’t even notice it at times. Don’t you realize that Lizzy didn’t want her secret revealed, but she told it to a “friend” herself? Where is the logic in that, huh? If you don’t want something revealed, keep quiet. It’s not everyone’s business to find out that you did this with this, right?
As for the guy Lizzy is having sex (oh, will you look at that? I actually used hat three-letter word!) with?
It’s her cousin.
That was where I had to pause. I couldn’t believe my ears. Deflower-ation was plausible, but at age 14… doing it with her friggin’cousin? To think she appeared to carry it out willingly! Lizzy was engaged in incest, for crying out loud!
I’m telling you, Lizzy just gave herself the millionth reason to commit suicide.
~How About That
~How About That
posted by How About That! @ 5:49:00 AM
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